Friends,
I want to share something with you, but I want to be certain that you receive it correctly. I'm going to tell you a story about something that happened recently, but I want to make sure that this is not construed as a story about me. This is actually the story about God's love.
A year ago, I met a guy at a gas station. He was behind the counter, ringing up my drink and gum. I happened to look at his face and I immediately felt scared for him. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. This had never happened before. The feeling of fear was very strong, so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. I didn’t feel scared of him. I felt scared for him. So, not knowing what else to say, I opened my mouth and something like these words fell out: “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I feel scared for you. Is everything ok?” He looked at me like you would imagine he would. He said, “Yeah, I think so. What do you think is wrong?” I told him that I didn’t know, but I urged Him to read Romans (I don’t know why I told him Romans). I told him that if he didn’t have a Bible, he could go online and read it. He seemed like he listened to me, but I was pretty sure he was just caught off guard. I know I was.
So, here I am a year later and I start remembering this guy. He couldn’t have been more than 20 or 21 years old. I start praying for him daily. Then, last Sunday I knew that I needed to go find him. I didn’t know for sure if he would be at the gas station that day. I just knew that I needed to check. So, I rode out there and he was not at work. I figured that my timing was off or that there was something else that I needed to see before I spoke with him. Then, on the 4th of July, I woke up to have my time with the Lord and all I could think about was this kid. I tried worshipping, praying - nothing but thoughts of this guy flooded my mind. I know this feeling well now and I know that it's a urging from the Lord to do something. I also discovered why it was that I was scared for him. So, I left to go to the gas station (this time very confident that he would be there).
I went inside and bought my gum & drink, but I didn't see him. I asked the cashier if he would be in today and she said yes and told me that he should be in shortly. I waited in my car and when he pulled up I could see that he recognized me. Just to be sure, I reminded him who I was and then told him that I knew why I was scared for him. Let me interject here to say that this guy already had the red flag look in his eyes. I know this was crazy for him. It was crazy for me. I really didn't want these words to come out of my mouth. They sounded like something that fire and brimstone evangelists say. I said the words anyway, "there's a battle for your soul." At this point, it was as if the kid hit one of those buzzers from America's Got Talent. Like a big red "X" and a screeching, loud, horn went off. Rejected. I went on to say some other things about his past and explained that this is not something that I do, going around looking for people to stalk and tell about Jesus. But, here's the part that shook me and I hope it shakes you in the same way. When I told the kid that Jesus loves him, his eyes changed. Literally, changed. I don't mean that his heart softened (although it did) and that I could see it (which I could). I mean, the boy's eyes physically looked different to me. His eyes connected with mine. He believed me, or at least wanted to. Nothing else that I said in that few minutes meant anything to him. When he heard me say, "Jesus loves you so much..." he was a different person. It was only a few seconds, but I promise you, he was changed. I don't think I will ever forget his eyes. They were a light, golden brown, and the way he looked at me with them, I wondered if he had ever heard this before. It was both exhilarating and heart breaking at the same time. I gave him a Bible and probably sounded like I was pleading with him to take this seriously. I just remember hearing myself say, "this is real" over and over again. I wish I could tell you that we both hit our knees and prayed to the Lord, but, actually, as soon as those moments passed, he was back in the judge's seat with his red "X" buzzer. I have this, though, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he heard that Jesus loves him.
So, here's why I share this with you. First, because I hope you will pray for him. Secondly, and most importantly, because it sunk deep into my heart the truth that God's love transforms. Our words fail, our best efforts fail, but His love never does. Lastly, because I'm setting this up in my heart as an altar to God - a reminder of his faithfulness. I'm using this both as an accounting of what is most important in this endeavor called Roots and a reminder that this stuff is bigger than I can imagine - that I can't even comprehend the weight of it, this side of heaven. I can't ever take this lightly. We can't ever take this lightly. A call from God, to do whatever He says, is a serious one. People's lives are on the line.
With love and appreciation for all of your prayers.
Amy
