I just spent a week at the beach with my family. It was wonderful. Bike riding to the ice cream shop, board games in the evening, sand wars on the beach (complete with well-fortified barricades). But, what sticks out the most in my mind is the time with the Lord on the beach, when He spoke to me words that I will carry with me always.
Let me digress for just a moment. A miraculous thing has happened in the life of Amy since I've begun this new journey with the Lord. At some point in my conversations with Him, I realized that my "quiet time" was getting pushed around by appointments, kids waking up unexpectedly early, or dishes that piled up in my sink. I confessed that there was no way I would hold on to this discipline at the rate I was going, so I asked the Lord (hold on here, my friends, this is a big one) - I asked Him to make me a MORNING PERSON! The horror! I knew that our time would have to happen somewhere around 5:00 or 5:30 if it was going to happen consistently. I also knew that it would be nothing short of a miracle if Amy Miller was to wake up before a cup of coffee was placed in her hands by her sweet, morning-person husband. Well, friends, it is happening. It has been a few weeks now and while I was at the beach, I woke up most mornings at 5:30. No alarm. No diligent husband. Just the Lord. I experienced some of the most precious times sitting on the beach early in the morning with just me and the Lord and a few sea gulls.
On the first morning that I ventured out to the shore before the sun came up, I unrolled my beach mat, sat down, closed my eyes and bowed my head to pray. Immediately, the Lord urged me to open my eyes. He wanted me to see all that was around me. He had created this beauty and it was mine to enjoy. I could see the clouds far out that would be rolling in later that day; I could see the sea gulls waiting in the sky for their morning feast; I could see an ocean so strangely calm that it reminded me of reading about Jesus walking beside lake Gennesaret. I don't remember all that was said during that time, but I remember praying and seeing a man far down the beach. He was limping and walking with a cane. I tried to continue talking to the Lord, but He kept showing me this man. I knew I had to pray for him. I told the Lord that I would approach him as he got closer, but when he was about 25 feet away, he turned back to the direction from which he came. I gave the typical "ughhh" and put my Bible down and walked after him. To make a long story short, I prayed over his knee, ankle, and another issue. Turns out, the man is from the South Congaree area. Anyway, the point of this is not about chasing down a man to pray for him. It certainly is not about my obedience, because only a short time after this incident, I failed to reach out to another person.
It is about praying with my eyes open.
Most of the time, I close my eyes in worship or prayer so that I can stay focused. I have a tendency to be easily distracted. But, sometimes, the Lord wants to show me something beautiful. Sometimes, he wants to show me the broken people. Sometimes, those things are one in the same. He loves these people, and while, to us, they may limp or appear broken beyond repair, to Him, they are a beautiful creation. If I want to experience the Father's heart, it will require me to, sometimes, pray with my eyes wide open and see the broken, beautiful people that His heart longs to heal.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
answers
A lot has happened since the decision to go ahead with what's next. I am now in full swing and realize that I am going to have trouble catching anyone up on all that has transpired. So, here it is in 30 seconds or less:
All of this officially began on May 6th, the day after graduation. In the last month, I have shed tears of frustration, confusion, and doubt over what I am being called to do. But, God has seen fit to give me grace. He has imparted to me the vision of a group of 12 seventh graders who will meet twice a week after school, who will become rooted in Him. They will be like trees planted by the water, who send their roots out by the stream. They will not fear when heat comes; their leaves are always green. They have no worries in a year of drought and they never fail to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
This group, called "Roots," will be built up in the Word and in prayer. They will serve the community, to bring healing to the broken and to bring light into darkness. Their families will, themselves, be affected by their children's walk with the Lord.
Today is Day 19 of a 30 day prayer. I am praying for consistency and faithfulness for myself as I try to carry out this calling. If you feel led, pray with me for the remaining 11 days. Also, pray for the 12 as I reach out to them and their families and invite them to be a part of this.
Blessings,
Amy
All of this officially began on May 6th, the day after graduation. In the last month, I have shed tears of frustration, confusion, and doubt over what I am being called to do. But, God has seen fit to give me grace. He has imparted to me the vision of a group of 12 seventh graders who will meet twice a week after school, who will become rooted in Him. They will be like trees planted by the water, who send their roots out by the stream. They will not fear when heat comes; their leaves are always green. They have no worries in a year of drought and they never fail to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
This group, called "Roots," will be built up in the Word and in prayer. They will serve the community, to bring healing to the broken and to bring light into darkness. Their families will, themselves, be affected by their children's walk with the Lord.
Today is Day 19 of a 30 day prayer. I am praying for consistency and faithfulness for myself as I try to carry out this calling. If you feel led, pray with me for the remaining 11 days. Also, pray for the 12 as I reach out to them and their families and invite them to be a part of this.
Blessings,
Amy
Friday, May 25, 2012
the question
I've graduated. Now, I get to face the dreaded question, "So, what's next?" I swallow hard and try to figure out, yet again, a new way to say it. I've managed to ramble in 50 different ways about "what's next." I've used words like "outreach," "mission," "God's call," and the bottom line is, everyone still looks at me like I've just landed here on earth and I'm speaking some alien language. I don't blame them. It's me, not them. The problem is that I don't have an answer that anyone can digest in a matter of a few seconds. Lately, I've just given up and said, "I'll let you know as soon as I know."
So, for anyone who cares to receive an answer to the question, you may continue reading. I'm sorry that I don't have a one or two word answer for you. Trust me, I want it more than anyone.
Like most people, I went ahead and made my own plans. I had planned to go to graduate school and get my MSW. I never consulted the Lord on this as far as I can remember; it just made sense to me to do it. A few weeks before graduation and a month before starting the grad program, I heard the Lord say something like, "why are you here?" OK, well, it was a sermon and a pastor was saying it. I can't remember what he was talking about in that sermon, because once he said those words, I couldn't hear anything else. I kept trying to listen to the message, but it would not stop reverberating in my mind. "Why are you here?" "Why are you here?" I broke. I was washing dishes and all I could do is lie my head on the counter and cry. I knew what the Lord was saying. He had other plans for me. I saw myself ministering to our town, Pelion. Reaching out to the broken. I saw a little building across from the park as a place of refuge. The Lord said, "I need you to be my lighthouse." I was and still am overwhelmed by that responsibility.
I was confused by the image of the little building, because it was not available for rent. So, being the obedient child that I am (ha!), I reasoned that my timing was wrong and that I should continue with my plans for grad school. With an unsettled feeling in my gut, I decided that I would continue on my path and would stop just as soon as the place became available. I paid my confirmation fee for school. The next day, I received another word from the Lord. This was it. The time was now and I was supposed do what He asked me to do. I could hear myself thinking these thoughts and figured, "well, if I thought it, He heard it, so I might as well say it." "Um, Lord. I don't mean to sound disobedient or question you, but I think my husband is going to kill me if I tell him that I have to do this now after I just gave the school $100 yesterday. I know it's my fault..." and then I had the reassurance that I would get that money back before the week was out. That is so like God to make up for my disobedience. So, I decided to wait until the money came in before I told Matt. I had been jerking him around with all of this stuff since the original word came to me. I had been scared that I was wrong or that I wasn't "hearing" the Lord correctly, so I'm sure I put my poor husband through the wringer while I figured it all out. Later that same week while the $100 was the furthest from my mind, Matt says to me, "this family gave me a check for today, but I tore it up." My heart sank. "How much was the check?"
"$100."
At this point, you may insert whatever word(s) or explatives you would like to imagine that I said, because I probably did say it in my head.
To make a long story short, I explained everything to Matt and here we are.
So, friends, this is "what's next." I'm supposed to be doing this thing that the Lord said to do and I really don't know how to explain what that is. I'm still discovering it every day as the Lord guides me. I'll let you know more as it comes in. In the meantime, I'd love to have your prayers over me and my family as we try to walk in this.
p.s. The building still isn't available. :)
God bless you and keep you.
Amy
So, for anyone who cares to receive an answer to the question, you may continue reading. I'm sorry that I don't have a one or two word answer for you. Trust me, I want it more than anyone.
Like most people, I went ahead and made my own plans. I had planned to go to graduate school and get my MSW. I never consulted the Lord on this as far as I can remember; it just made sense to me to do it. A few weeks before graduation and a month before starting the grad program, I heard the Lord say something like, "why are you here?" OK, well, it was a sermon and a pastor was saying it. I can't remember what he was talking about in that sermon, because once he said those words, I couldn't hear anything else. I kept trying to listen to the message, but it would not stop reverberating in my mind. "Why are you here?" "Why are you here?" I broke. I was washing dishes and all I could do is lie my head on the counter and cry. I knew what the Lord was saying. He had other plans for me. I saw myself ministering to our town, Pelion. Reaching out to the broken. I saw a little building across from the park as a place of refuge. The Lord said, "I need you to be my lighthouse." I was and still am overwhelmed by that responsibility.
I was confused by the image of the little building, because it was not available for rent. So, being the obedient child that I am (ha!), I reasoned that my timing was wrong and that I should continue with my plans for grad school. With an unsettled feeling in my gut, I decided that I would continue on my path and would stop just as soon as the place became available. I paid my confirmation fee for school. The next day, I received another word from the Lord. This was it. The time was now and I was supposed do what He asked me to do. I could hear myself thinking these thoughts and figured, "well, if I thought it, He heard it, so I might as well say it." "Um, Lord. I don't mean to sound disobedient or question you, but I think my husband is going to kill me if I tell him that I have to do this now after I just gave the school $100 yesterday. I know it's my fault..." and then I had the reassurance that I would get that money back before the week was out. That is so like God to make up for my disobedience. So, I decided to wait until the money came in before I told Matt. I had been jerking him around with all of this stuff since the original word came to me. I had been scared that I was wrong or that I wasn't "hearing" the Lord correctly, so I'm sure I put my poor husband through the wringer while I figured it all out. Later that same week while the $100 was the furthest from my mind, Matt says to me, "this family gave me a check for today, but I tore it up." My heart sank. "How much was the check?"
"$100."
At this point, you may insert whatever word(s) or explatives you would like to imagine that I said, because I probably did say it in my head.
To make a long story short, I explained everything to Matt and here we are.
So, friends, this is "what's next." I'm supposed to be doing this thing that the Lord said to do and I really don't know how to explain what that is. I'm still discovering it every day as the Lord guides me. I'll let you know more as it comes in. In the meantime, I'd love to have your prayers over me and my family as we try to walk in this.
p.s. The building still isn't available. :)
God bless you and keep you.
Amy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)